Santa claus in trouble for mac
He needs some good P.R., and he gets it in the form of Patch, who shows up and offers to help B.Z. B.Z. is a big-shot toy maker, and he’s just gotten in trouble with Congress because his toys catch fire, and he also sells teddy bears stuffed with nails and glass (?). Lithgow performs with such gleeful over-the-top-ness that you can’t help become enchanted as he glowers and snarls and cackles and chomps on cigars. But unlike Joe, she lives in a big mansion, which is owned by her cartoonishly evil uncle, B.Z., played by John Lithgow. Joe has a friend name Cornelia, whom he refers to as “Corny.”Ĭorny, like Joe, has no parents. In one scene, he stares through a window and longingly watches as families shove fistfuls of fries into their faces. Joe is always dirty, wears a leather jacket, has no family, and he really wants to eat some fucking McDonald’s. Meanwhile, Santa befriends a little street urchin named Joe.
#Santa claus in trouble for mac Patch#
Santa promptly fires Patch, and Patch heads to New York City (for reasons unknown), bringing with him the magical gold dust that makes the reindeer fly.
![Santa claus in trouble for mac Santa claus in trouble for mac](https://cdn.akamai.steamstatic.com/steam/apps/1431350/ss_d78cf3d4ceca5b3383539015b89fc0f3ea4950b2.600x338.jpg)
I guess in the universe this film takes place in everyone is aware that Santa Claus is real…? Kids get into fist-fights over the subject, and say things like “My dad says he’s all washed up!”, which implies parents are sitting around discussing the productive merits of Santa Claus. Unfortunately, it produces really shoddy toys that fall apart, which gives Santa a bad name. Because sure, why not?Īs the centuries tick on, Santa entrusts the elf Patch with coming up with bigger, better ways to make toys, so Patch pulls a Henry Ford and constructs an assembly line. The elves make Santa a job offer he can’t refuse: they’ll make toys, and he’ll deliver aforementioned toys to all the boys and girls of the world, in ONE NIGHT! How can this be? I don’t know, there’s some bullshit prophecy at play about how Santa is the chosen one, and he can control time, or something like that. Also, one of the elves is named Patch, played by lovable drunk Dudley Moore, who does not look good with lipstick here. The elves bring Santa, his wife, and his reindeer all back to life, and the head elf announces himself by saying “I am the one called Dooley!” All the elves introduce themselves that way it’s a weird elf thing, I guess. But wait! Luckily for them, they happen to die at the exact spot where a magical Christmas tree appears (why?), and out of this glowing magic tree come elves (again, why?). Riding back home one late snowy night, the Claus clan get caught in a blizzard and meet a wintry end. Well not so fast, because in the first fifteen minutes of this film, Santa, his wife, and his two reindeer freeze to death. He, his wife and his two reindeer would ride around in the snow and give wooden toys to kids. Long before he became the jolly old elf the world knows and fears loves, he was a simple toy maker living in some undisclosed century. Santa Claus: The Movie decides to give Santa (the Big Lebowski himself, the late David Huddleston) a backstory. The bargain did not pay off, as Box Office Mojo lists the film’s total United States box office gross as $23,717,291, far less than its budget of somewhere near $50 million. Unfortunately, Santa didn’t quite adapt as well to the hero treatment, and what resulted was a fever dream of bright colors, possible musical numbers that never start but seem like they should, blatant product placement (by McDonald’s, Coke, and, of all things, Pabst Blue Ribbon), and John Lithgow chewing so much scenery he must have dislocated his jaw. And Santa Claus is sort of like Superman, in that they both fly, both wear red, and that they both can see through women’s clothes with X-Ray Vision. It came down to this: Alexander and Ilya Salkind, the producers of the box office smash Superman, thought they could translate that same success onto another character - one in the public domain, so they wouldn’t have to worry about buying the rights to anything.
![Santa claus in trouble for mac Santa claus in trouble for mac](https://www.gamerbolt.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/santa-claus-in-trouble_9-300x225.jpg)
Speaking of coke, the producers of the 1985 flop Santa Claus: The Movie were probably snorting a ton of cocaine when they came up with this holiday classic. Mmm, McDonald’s! I could really go for some Big Mac’s, fries and nuggets.